COVID-19 Help For Parents

Fears and anxieties about germs is a fairly common anxiety for young children but at this abnormally vigilant time of the Covid-19 virus, some children can become very distressed.  It is important to remember that, in the space of a few days, the usual everyday safe world of their daily routine, school, creche , playdates, visits to Grandparents, sports, going to the shop etc. have all disappeared.  Seeing and hearing all the information about the dangers of the virus to their family and, in particular their grandparents, might be a very frightening experience for them.  Here are some general tips which can help manage the situation while we wait for this time to pass.

Accept that your child’s anxiety is a valid  reaction to the constant health information about the Covid -19  virus and the danger that it poses. By accepting your child’s inner state you will begin to relieve their anxiety by allowing them to unburden their fears. This in itself can bring calmness to the situation  when they feel that they have told you their worries and that you are there to care and support them. Here is a link to a Youtube example of mindful breathing 

• Listen to what they say about their fear or anxiety so that you are clear about what their belief actually is.   You could then say something like “ I know that you are very worried about this and that you are afraid that the virus will make us sick” ( or whatever the child’s expressed fear is).  Let them know that even though they believe that this is true, you are there to take care of them and this situation because you are the adult  in charge. Reassure them that you can handle it for them and that they can relax because you are on top of the problem.

• Name the emotion for your child eg. sad, anxious, afraid, frightened etc. so that they can begin to become aware of their emotional state. By naming their emotion your child gains insight into what is happening to them. Identify for them the part of the body that usually becomes over-flooded when we are sad, anxious or fearful ; chest feels tight, butterflies in tummy, fast heartbeat, feeling hot, headache etc. Initially it is good to give your child words to describe how they feel as this somewhat explains to them their inner experience. Letting them know that you understand  their world, keeping calm and helping regulate their physical state provides a safe comforting presence for them.  Over time you can work on reducing their reaction and help them transition to a more regulated state.

In an age appropriate way let them know that there are germs around us all the time and that they are there to help our immune system keep us safe. If you think that your child can cope, introduce the idea of good bacteria such as in kefir, bio yoghurts and the like and explain that these good germs help to keep us healthy. This video link is a very visual way to show children the effectiveness of good hygiene and how it dispels germs. Giving back a sense of control  to them in a new and strange situation is very important in order to re-establish your child’s experience of resilience and confidence.

• Monitor the words and language on the topic of the virus which are within the child’s earshot. Considerably reduce exposure to TV and internet discussion of the situation. If at all possible go outside for some vigorous running, games, cycling etc. Allowing your child to release energy in this way is a healthy antidote to stress hormones.

• Arrange for Grandparents, relatives and other important people in the child’s life to contact the family by Skype, WhatsApp, Facetime, Zoom etc. This will reassure your child that their loved ones are fine and are available to them as usual although just in a different way.

• Make this time of enforced quarantine a positive one . An effective and practical way to do this is by having daily schedule of some sort. This can be organized around getting up time, meals, bed time. In between these time markers include your children in other activities; RTE school, outdoor exercise, talking to relatives by phone/Skype, regular playtimes during the day with your child when you can find new games or activities to  take everybody’s mind off the problem. Building forts, water and sand play, painting and messy play are using your child’s natural playful approach for exploring the world. These kinesthetic activities also act as a powerful release for the inner turbulence influencing their anxious response to the current health crisis. 

As the parent you know your child best and so you will know which of the above ideas will or will not be suitable to your child, their temperament and the wider family dynamics. It is  very  important to remain accepting of their fears and worries about the virus and the harm that they envisage happening to them or a family member and in an appropriate way to help them manage this reaction.

Keep well!