Angry Child: Tips for Parents
1. The Mad Game
The Mad Game, developed by Patricia Davidson and described by Hall, Kaduson, and Schaefer (2002), can be used to show children that it’s okay to feel anger and to encourage them to express it in a healthy way.
Take a set of blocks ( cardboard, wooden, or plastic) and divide them evenly between themselves and the child. Next, explain the rules: each person will place a block on top of the other person’s block during their turn. They will alternate turns, and at each turn, they will share something that is unfair or something that makes them angry.
Begin with silly or lighthearted things, like “It makes me mad when I want to play outside but it’s raining” or “It’s not fair that I can’t eat sweets for every meal!” Eventually, progress on to things that are more specific to the child’s issues.
Once all the blocks are stacked, instruct the child to think of one thing that makes them the angriest, make a face that reflects how they feel (a “mad face”), and knockdown all the blocks.
This technique allows the child to discuss their anger, an exercise that may be unfamiliar if the child is not used to feeling like it is acceptable to express such emotions. It will also give the child an opportunity to act out that anger in a safe and healthy way. FRANCES KELLY PLAY THERAPIST MA craughwellplaytherapy.com
2. Positive Postings
This talk therapy technique from Jacqueline Melissa Swank will help improve the child’s sense of self-esteem and encourage positive self-talk.
This activity requires construction paper, crayons or markers, and sticky notes (or pre-cut body shapes available in Mr Price/ Dealz) . If using the construction paper, draw an outline of their body on the construction paper. Next, instruct your child to use the crayons or markers and sticky notes to write down several of their positive qualities or traits (like “I am kind to my classmates” or “I’m good at playing tag”).
Once the child has several positive quality post-its ready, get them to stick the notes on their outline. This will help the child solidify the connection between themselves and these positive traits.
When they are finished, take the positive self-talk one step further by asking them to think about a time when they felt very angry, frustrated, or disappointed with themselves, and encouraging them to think about how their “positive postings” could help them when they feel that way.
3. Anger resource sheet
This worksheet is an excellent resource for parents with a child struggling to control his or her anger. Children can complete this worksheet with a parent or other adult, or by themselves, if they are old enough.
It begins with a little lesson on how anger can start out very small, like feeling “annoyed” or just a little angry. It then prompts children to draw what they look like when their anger is small.
Next, it describes how anger can grow almost uncontrollably until it seems like it’s way too big to deal with. It may feel hard to control, like a car without breaks. It notes that someone who is very angry may yell, hit, cry, or break things. Children are then prompted to draw what they look like when they are very angry.
On the next page is a big, red stop sign. The text prompts the child to look for anger stop signs or clues that begin to appear when their anger is small but can let them know that it is growing. When they notice these signs, they can stomp on the brakes and get their anger under control. FRANCES KELLY PLAY THERAPIST MA craughwellplaytherapy.com
The prompt above the stop sign reads: “Everyone has their own anger stop signs. It’s important to learn what yours are, so you can spot them in the future. Write your anger stop signs in the space below.”
It also includes some common anger stop signs the child may recognize as one of their own, like:
- • My face feels hot.
- • I start to shake.
- • I raise my voice.
- • I go quiet.
- • My eyes get watery.
- • I try to bother people.
- • I can’t think straight.
- • I feel annoyed.
- • I want to hit something.
Download this resource here: